Religion Informed Guilt

By Cam

I have spent the past two weeks listening to ER Fightmaster on repeat that I may be their biggest fan currently, or I'm just gay. Or both. Anyhooters, this blog is about religion-informed guilt. The physical manifestation of mental and emotional trauma. It is where you perceive a situation to be of sin and therefore lacking the presence of God and hence you feel a sense of obligation to fix this issue with your theology and practices. 

If you have ever felt that rush of panic or guilt, that tightness in your chest because a choice you made or a feeling you felt didn’t fit neatly into your understanding of faith, you know this struggle. It’s like this looming cloud—a constant reminder that somehow, somewhere, you’ve fallen short. And even though you might tell yourself that God loves you unconditionally, there’s this unshakable sense that your faith is being tested, that your actions are always under scrutiny.

This kind of guilt can be profoundly isolating, especially when it’s bound up in questions of identity, love, and personal truth. For some of us, religious frameworks have taught us that certain aspects of who we are need ‘fixing’—whether that’s our queerness, our doubts, or just our humanity. But does that guilt reflect something truly broken, or is it a reflection of the stories we’ve inherited about God, sin, and grace? Also, is this guilt a reflection of something that is broken due to religion-informed prejudice and how do we make sure our theology is inclusive?

As a queer person, a black person, and a religious person there is a feeling to reconcile those parts of myself to validate the other parts. I think of it as a wonderful contradiction, but that contradiction would be rooted in a limited understanding of theology and my walk with God. To say that a black person cannot be queer or that it is weird because that is not who black people are is rooted in the masculinization and demasculinization of black women and men. The same idea goes for being queer and Christian, it is rooted in a limited understanding of queer existence, interpretations, how the bible has evolved over time, mistranslations, etc. 

To say that God is love and love is God is to include queer identities, and if your rhetoric spillage does not encompass all diverse identities then it has failed to be a religion for humanity. The guilt that encompasses the "other"('other' meaning queer, people of color, immigrants, poor, disabled) is a guilt rooted in heteropatriarchal theology that insists that women be subservient to men, that Jesus was white with blonde hair and blue eyes, etc., there are many culturally specific truths that wouldn't be able to be applied to today. We can't sacrifice anyone because that would be illegal and yet some theologies still insist on sacrificing people’s identities, self-worth, and dignity to fit narrow interpretations of faith. When doctrines rooted in hetero-patriarchal norms tell us that being queer, being ourselves, is somehow less holy, they strip the power from 'God is love' and turn it into 'God is love, but only for some.'

An example of this religion-informed guilt also shows up when people say "I will pray for you", it is a simple sentiment but often said in situations where a prayer is not needed and it is often said condescendingly. Prayer does fix things, but so does action. Voting for people in power who will not abuse marginalized communities is important, saying you love someone but then you dislike that they are queer is a sinful action that disregards that person's full humanity to exist under God's divine plan and love FOR ALL. If your guilt is rooted in prejudice for my queer identity then you have created an evil contradiction by treating me as incomplete and implying that I need to change in order to be fully worthy of love.

You don't tell people you love them and then hold onto beliefs that fracture our livelihoods and communities. This is why communism is important to ensure community health and wealth. Class distinctions are prejudiced and discriminate against race, ethnicity, and disability status. Furthermore, operating as a collective ensures that no one is left behind to suffer at the expense of the rich and wealthy. With action, anything can become a reality.

And this my comrades, was a stream of my thoughts. Feel free to utilize your imagination.

Beep.