Breaking Bread with Asexuality

The Atypicality of Asexuality and Interpretations

By Camille

It's widely acknowledged, albeit frowned upon, that the Bible has been wielded as a tool of hatred against the LGBT+ community. However, a common oversight among those who espouse such bigotry is the tendency to perceive the LGBT+ community as a homogenous entity, failing to recognize its diverse array of identities. Within this spectrum lies asexuality, often overlooked in discussions of prejudice and discrimination. Despite the animosity directed towards 'the gays' – a term often used to annoyingly encapsulate the entire LGBT+ community – asexuality remains marginalized. This oversight begs the question: "why?"

This observation is astute. The prejudice and discrimination faced by the LGBT+ community, including asexual individuals, often stem from a lack of understanding and empathy, as well as rigid adherence to traditional interpretations of religious texts. This perception of the LGBT+ community as a monolith is indeed a common misconception, one that overlooks the diverse array of identities and experiences within the community. Asexuality, along with other identities such as agender, non-binary, and genderqueer, is often marginalized or erased in discussions of sexuality and gender.

The exclusion of asexuality from discussions of biblical relationships and gender roles reflects a broader societal tendency to prioritize certain identities and experiences while disregarding or invalidating others. This exclusion can contribute to feelings of isolation and invisibility among asexual individuals within religious communities.

One possible reason for this exclusion is the historical context in which religious texts were written and interpreted. Many traditional interpretations of scripture are rooted in patriarchal structures and binary understandings of gender and sexuality, which can marginalize identities that do not fit neatly into these categories. Additionally, prejudice towards asexuality may stem from a lack of awareness or understanding of what it means to be asexual. Asexuality challenges societal norms around sexual desire and intimacy, which can be threatening to those who view these norms as central to their understanding of relationships and identity. It's essential to challenge these prejudices and misconceptions by promoting awareness, education, and empathy within religious communities. By acknowledging the diversity of human experiences and identities, we can create more inclusive spaces where all individuals feel seen, valued, and accepted for who they are.

In the idea of reimagining scripture, why can't we imagine some of the biblical narratives as coming from an asexual point of view? Meaning, that instead of expecting that every woman and man in the bible wholeheartedly carries the belief that only man and women were meant to populate the Earth, the idea of "populate" insinuates sexuality, therefore that applies the notion that all humans are meant to have the capacity for sexuality, when that is not true. For example, characters traditionally portrayed as celibate or unmarried could be interpreted through an asexual lens, highlighting the possibility that their choices were motivated by a lack of sexual attraction rather than a rejection of sexual relationships altogether. Additionally, narratives that emphasize emotional or spiritual intimacy over physical desire could be reexamined to explore the complexities of relationships beyond a strictly sexual framework.

"Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers" by Lillian Faderman provides a compelling exploration of intimate relationships between women in the early 20th century, shedding light on the complexity of female friendships and romantic bonds during this period. Faderman's work delves into the lives of women who shared deep emotional connections and lived in close proximity, often forming intense relationships that defied societal expectations. These women found solace and companionship in each other's company, navigating the constraints of a patriarchal society while carving out spaces of intimacy and understanding within their own circles. Through Faderman's vivid storytelling and meticulous research, readers are invited to reimagine these relationships not solely through the lens of friendship or romance, but as multifaceted expressions of human connection that transcend traditional categories. In doing so, "Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers" challenges us to reconsider our assumptions about gender, sexuality, and the nature of intimate relationships, offering a nuanced portrait of love and companionship in a bygone era.

I have a few questions to consider, what could an asexual relationship look like within biblical times? What if we reimagined biblical relationships as asexual, would that change the root of some biblical passages as some may mention procreation between men and women in some capacity? In traditional Christian theology, the birth of Jesus is regarded as a miraculous event, conceived through the Holy Spirit and born to the Virgin Mary. According to this belief, Mary conceived Jesus without the involvement of sexual intercourse with Joseph or any other human being. So in thinking of that it allows for imagination to become and invites us to contemplate the profound mystery of the incarnation and the ways in which God works through human relationships to bring about salvation and redemption.

Intimacy should not be heteronormative in thought, discussion, and explanation because that disregards the possibility of someone being asexual. If we can be told and preached to that God and Jesus are heterosexual, cis-gendered men, then why can't God and Jesus be asexual or Queer or Black or Brown, or the "other"?  The same goes for other biblical narratives that are seemingly told from a heteronormative perspective.

Terms:

Asexuality means the lack of sexual interest and/or drive. Some asexuals may engage in sexual activity for the pleasure of others, and some may abstain from it completely, and that abstinence varies in meaning.

Heternormative means the belief that heterosexuality is the norm or default sexual orientation, and it often involves the assumption that all individuals are heterosexual unless there are clear indicators otherwise.